Thursday, September 8, 2011

Food Smuggling

Every poor college kid who has ever lived in a dormitory setting and has had a meal plan knows what this post is about.  We have all done it.  Guilty.  Smuggling food out of the dining halls is the number one way to save money on campus.  It can be extremely easy to accomplish, or an impossible endeavor, depending how uptight the kitchen staff is.

Fortunately, the system here in Hawaii fails to prevent this common theft, and I swoop in and take full advantage.  I opted for 10 meals a week because I knew I had a "kitchen" in my apartment.  I figured I'd cook half the time slash make cheese sandwiches and eat cereal.  I was taken aback by a few realizations.

1) There's no suitable grocery store here within reasonable walking distance for remotely decent prices.  Walmart is a painful bus ride away, and anything close turns out to be Japanese or organic markets with ridiculous prices.  So I will not be buying groceries anytime soon (or often).

2) This is our kitchen:

Looking closer:

What the hell, right?  They didn't even bother fixing one of the broken stove-y things.

What's worse, if we played a game called 'What's Missing From My Kitchen?' you would be able to point out the lack of a microwave.  Who the hell doesn't put a microwave in a kitchen?!  It's one of the most idolized possessions of a hungry college student in the 21st century.


The combination of these two disasters leaves me no choice but to smuggle food out of the dining hall.  In a mere three weeks' time, I have become a self-proclaimed professional.  I have a water bottle used for taking milk (sometimes chocolate).  This saves me eight dollars a gallon and does wonders in the morningtime when I need my cereal fix.  I also bought tupperware, just for the occasions when I need to take food out of the dining halls.  Last night, for instance, I took a quesadilla and french fries (I'm cultural) so I could eat lunch today.  Fo' free.

Mom and Dad would be so proud.


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